Teenage girls and Vogue. It’s a difficult, combustible mix. I fell in love with Vogue in 1975, when I was 17. In some ways it improved my life — it made me dream beyond the dull shores of Essex.
Yet it also almost destroyed it — because as an unattractive, acne-riddled provincial lump, I wanted the bodies and lives of the women on its pages.
But being naive, airbrushing simply never occurred to me. I had no idea it was all artifice, a fantasy world. I thought I had to live out its pages.
And so I’m cautious as I open the debut issue of Miss Vogue, which lands on newsstands today: the first offshoot for teenagers from British Vogue.
Miss Vogue: The problem is Miss Vogue seems largely, if not exclusively, penned, directed and styled by women in their 50sA high-end magazine for teens is nothing new. Harpers & Queen, back in the Eighties, published a teenage issue once a year, and was entirely written by teens.
The problem is Miss Vogue seems largely, if not exclusively, penned, directed and styled by women in their 50s. As a result it all feels a bit ancient: ‘Stash a pair of earrings in your bag for that private view.’ I think not.
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Unlike me, Shulman was seemingly not brainwashed by the pages of what is now her magazine when she was a teen: she’s super-confident and clearly happy in her own skin.
But many girls are more vulnerable and easily led. So I’d have liked a little more hand-holding. One page of beauty advice is to dye one of your eyebrows bright red, when many teenage girls can barely leave the house because they might have a spot.
And so to the fashion, with prices that surely very few teenagers can afford: a Vuitton duffel bag, £780. Jimmy Choo sneakers, £275. A £365 pair of earrings. Style advice for interns — ooh, another rucksack, this time in white, at £160. Why assume teens want rucksacks and satchels anyway?
To me that lacks imagination — as does a ‘mood board’ of images from design duo Meadham Kirchhoff; this is just not interesting.
And I appreciate that magazines need high-end adverts, but surely publisher Condé Nast makes enough money from its older readers for this to focus more on the High Street. And how about a feature on how to make your own outfit?
The dating advice for when you snare a rock star’s son (nepotism knows no bounds) beggars belief, as does a quote from model Karlie Kloss (one of the ‘21 under-21 style idols’) who says she ‘knows the importance of investing in classic pieces’.
The conversation between designer Henry Holland and Pixie Geldof is as boring as it sounds (Note to editor: conversations between two famous people never, ever work as a feature; they are too sycophantic, too ‘in’).
Frankly, stable-mate Glamour fulfils the young woman remit admirably in a far more responsible, imaginative way than this. But at least there are no diets or exercise regimes in Miss Vogue — 19 magazine in my youth came with a free calorie counter!
Teenagers in my day were easily pleased. Today’s are not, given the wealth of stuff out there for them, from street style blogs to DIY beauty how to’s on YouTube.
The American version, Teen Vogue, is so much more fun than this effort, with features such as how to create your own Valentino-inspired manicure in six easy steps and a section on dealing with peer pressure. (I loved the article on how to deal with fashion envy).
Besides, the British version’s ‘mother’ magazine already features models who are 16 and 17. Wouldn’t it be great if the grown-up Vogue became a teen-free zone?
I’ve always found it odd and rather insulting that I’m shown what to wear on the body of a child.
These days, mums are meant to look like their daughters while, if this issue is to be believed, their daughters hanker after Chanel and Michael Kors …
LIZ JONES SPIES ON...REISS, KNIGHTSBRIDGEWhen I enter a store, I don’t want to be ignored, but neither do I want to be fawned over.
Reiss has got it just right: a friendly smile from a pretty sales assistant, which acknowledged my existence, but allowed me to browse.
It’s no surprise this is the Duchess of Cambridge’s favourite brand: it’s feminine and sugary, and very fashionable without being scary. It’s safe, too, for more formal wear and not ridiculously over-priced: a gorgeous — admittedly synthetic — cream boyfriend blazer is £195, which is cheaper than the one by Topshop Unique.
My one gripe is some of the dresses for summer, which hover around £195, feel flimsy and are often annoyingly hard to get into: my bete noire when it comes to clothing is zips that aren’t long enough and fiddly fastenings.
I was in the changing room, my head stuck in a dress, ruining my hair and make-up, wailing, unable to venture out as my stomach was exposed — and no one came to my aid.
There should always be someone hovering (but not Hoovering: I do so hate it when staff are cleaning during a store’s opening hours, as they were on the morning I visited) discreetly when a changing cubicle is occupied.
Also, the shoes on offer are just not right: neither pretty and safe, as at LK Bennett, nor highly fashionable.
So, they’ve got service almost right, but the clothes need to work a little bit harder . . .
