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Black dog: By Gove, Happy Birthday Ma'am

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Michael Gove came to the rescue when he took his children to St Mary Abbots Church in Kensington last Sunday. 

Not one pinkie went up when trendy Reverend Gillean Craig said: ‘Hands up any children with a birthday so we can all sing Happy Birthday.’

The awkward silence was broken by the geeky chap in specs at the back. ‘It’s Her Majesty the Queen’s birthday today. Let’s sing the national anthem for her!’

Step forward the patriotic Education Secretary.

Michael Gove struck a patriotic note when he encouraged the congregation to sing the national anthem in celebration of the Queen's birthday 

  The PM has aimed another jibe at multi-millionaire Tory MP Zac Goldsmith for leading a revolt over planning laws for home extensions.

This newspaper revealed last week how indignant Cameron said of Goldsmith: ‘Who does that man think he’s accountable to?

Now he has had another eruption, spluttering: ‘It’s all right for Zac – he’s got such a big house, he’ll never need an extension.’

  How Maggie silenced motormouth Jeremy

An unintended snub to Jeremy Clarkson by Tory MP Bernard Jenkin is behind the Top Gear host’s unlikely appearance at Maggie’s funeral.

After taking part in the Top Gear race-track challenge, Jenkin jetted off to Afghanistan before Clarkson, left, could interview him. Clarkson got revenge by using a cardboard cut-out of the MP on the show.

Bernard Jenkin arranged for the Top Gear host to meet Maggie Thatcher, but Clarkson was rendered speechless by her

When the two finally buried the hatchet, Clarkson said he’d always wanted to meet Thatcher, so Jenkin arranged for them to have dinner.

The MP said: ‘He was so in awe of her, he sat there speechless.’ A first.

  Leveson QC Carine Patry Hoskins’s appreciation of men appears to have kept her going during the inquiry’s endless hearings. First she stared at actor Hugh Grant. Then she had a fling with Grant’s QC, David Sherborne.

But less well known is her admiration for suave Channel 4 newsman Jon Snow. Moments after Snow, 65, left the Leveson witness box, Patry Hoskins was heard chiding herself for forgetting to ask him to sign a copy of his memoirs, which she had in her handbag.

  Nigel's pop at Shapps

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has accused Tory chairman Grant Shapps of trying to copy his saloon bar hero image by posing for a media photo in a pub with a pint of ale.

Farage’s ratings soared after he was interviewed by this newspaper in a boozer at 11am last year with a foaming glass of bitter in front of him.

‘Little Shapps is kidding himself if he thinks posing with a pint will make him more popular,’ says Farage. ‘He’d look more convincing with an alcopop.’

UKIP Leader Nigel Farage's rating soared after he was interviewed a foaming pint of ale

  MPs on the all-party Gibraltar group have been urged to adopt one of the colony’s famous Barbary apes, which are mating like fury and making a menace of themselves.

‘Please take one each,’ begged Albert Poggio, our man on the Rock. Tory Andrew Rosindell declined the offer.

One of the apes took a chunk out of his arm – in the manner of Liverpool footballer Luis Suarez – on a parliamentary jaunt.



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