AFL great Gary Ablett Sr opens up on the night an infatuated fan died in his bed after they ploughed through 12 ecstasy tablets, heroin and booze during five-day bender - and how he wishes 'God took him instead'

Gary Ablett Sr has revealed he is still 'broken' 20 years after a young fan died after overdosing on drugs in his bed - and says he once wished God had taken him instead.

The AFL legend, widely regarded as one of the greatest players of the modern era, woke on February 17, 2000, to find Alisha Horan, 20, unresponsive in his room at the Park Hyatt Hotel in Melbourne. 

The day before they had shared 12 and a half ecstasy tablets, lines of heroin and a boatload of booze after he took the infatuated fan on a wild five-day bender.

The Geelong Cats great pleaded guilty to four drug crimes and was fined $1,500, but didn't make a full confession until years later.

Ablett shared the pain and guilt he still feels in a rare interview with charity Reclink Australia founder Peter Cullen on Facebook.  

Gary Ablett Snr (pictured with his grandson Levi) has opened up on the tragic death of Alisha Horan 20 years ago

'There's been times, especially when, with moral failure some 20 years ago where I was involved in drugs and there was a young lady who overdosed... all that kind of stuff,' he said.

'I can't tell you how much that shattered me, how much it broke me as a person. It still grieves me to this day.'

The AFL Hall of Fame footballer said he turned to faith and his relationship with God, having converted to Christianity in 1986, to make his way through the tragedy.

'It's only been my relationship with Jesus Christ that has got me through, because of his unconditional love and acceptance and knowing that if I repent and I'm genuinely sorry for what I've done, he forgives me because he's paid for it all on the cross,' Ablett said.

'Without him, I couldn't have kept going. After that happened I didn't want to be here for a number of years and I said to God, "you should have taken me instead".

'It's been a very painful experience. If only I could go back in time and change things I would. Unfortunately we don't get that opportunity.'

Ablett was so depressed he was bedridden for six weeks after Ms Horan's death.

Ms Horan died from a drug overdose in Ablett's room at the Park Hyatt Hotel in Melbourne in 2000

He hopes opening up on his experience and his faith will inspire others to learn from his mistakes and make positive decisions in their lives.

'That's why I'm learning. I've got a long way to, but that's why choices in life are so important because once we've made a choice or a decision, we don't get the chance to go back in time and change it,' Ablett said.

'I fully understand what it's like to be in pain. No one likes emotional pain – especially long-term – and it's so easy to want to turn to things to numb our pain, to escape reality.

'But the problem is when the drugs wear off and the alcohol wears off, we not only wake up with a hangover, our problems are back worse than ever often because what we've done while we've been on the drugs or on the drink can add more pain, or even shame, to our lives.

'We need to make sure that we get our decisions right the first time – that's been a big lesson for me. I just wish I had have known that a lot earlier.'

Ms Horan's heartbroken father has no time for Ablett's attempts at redemption and is livid the fallen star escaped penalty for his role in her death.

Ablett Snr (pictured arriving at Melbourne Magistrates Court in 2002 facing drug charges after the incident) said the death 'shattered him' and he turned to faith to get through it

Gary Ablett Snr (pictured lining up a goal in the 1980s) is a Geelong Cats legend who played 248 games in his career

Alan Horan claims Ablett never apologised to him and frequently responds to his statements on her death with anger.

'He never said sorry but I wouldn't have expected it from that animal. It would have surprised me if he had,' Mr Horan told the Herald Sun in November 2018.

'She was no one. She was only a small person that got ­involved with that animal and the football clubs and everyone else thought Ablett was God.' 

Mr Horan on Tuesday renewed his grudge and wondered why anyone would even bother speaking to Ablett about it since he shouldn't be believed.

'I wish he'd just overdose and go away,' he said.

Legal proceedings after Ms Horan's death consisted of an inquest in 2001 and the ex-footy star's guilty plea for drug possession in 2002.

Ablett refused to answer most of the questions at the inquest to avoid incriminating himself for a future trial, and only came clean years later.

The fallout from Ms Horan's death delayed Ablett's entry into the AFL Hall of Fame until 2005, and he has still not been elevated to the official rank of Legend.

Ablett made headlines in September after delivering a complex rant linking the coronavirus pandemic to 'End Times' biblical prophecies, and conspiracy theories about Freemasons and the Illuminati.

The 27-minutes long video filmed in his car and posted to YouTube  linked COVID-19 to the 'new world order' and the second coming of Jesus Christ.

'It's not natural. It didn't come from bats. They're lying to us and they have been for decades,' Ablett said of the virus.

'It was man made in a lab. Deliberately designed and deliberately released.'

'They don't want a cure. Why? Because they want us to take their vaccines. And their vaccines are going to kill us. They want to wipe out billions of people.'

He said the development of a vaccine is part of a 'trans-humanist' plot.

'These vaccines they are talking about, they want to change our DNA and there are things in them… and they are trying to link us up with artificial intelligence so we can both give and receive messages.'

Despite their incredible sporting prowess, the Ablett family has endured several severe hardships off the field.

Ablett Sr's son, Gary Ablett Jr (pictured with his wife Jordan and son Levi), is regarded as one of the greatest champions of the AFL's modern era 

Jordan Ablett has constantly been by her son Levi's side (pictured together) as he battles a rare disease

Ablett Sr's son, Gary Ablett Jr, also considered one the greatest players of all time, has suffered his fair share of heartache from his son's battle with a rare degenerative disease, the recent loss of his mother-in-law to cancer and his sister's fatal drug overdose. 

The 36-year-old won two premierships with Cats in 2007 and 2009 before he joined the Gold Coast Suns in 2011, spending eight seasons before the tragic loss of his sister Natasha in late 2017. 

Natasha, 35, was found dead in a friend's front yard in Geelong following a lethal cocktail of illicit drugs including fentanyl, hours after she fled a mental health clinic.

The eldest of the Ablett siblings, Natasha struggled with mental health and drug issues for many years and battled schizophrenia since she was a teen.

'A lot of people are likely to be making assumptions about why I made this decision; however, only a few people know the reasons why,' Ablett Jr wrote on his website a few days before her death.

Ablett Sr pictured with his four children Natasha, Gary Jr (back row), Nathan and Alisha (front row)

Alisha Ablett paid tribute to sister Natasha in a heartfelt Instagram post following her death in 2017 saying growing up with her and their brothers Gary and Nathan was the 'worlds best gift'

'I need to be around my family back home, who I have spent the last seven years doing long distance with.'

'My sisters, my brother, and parents all play a huge role in my life, and it's time that I make myself more available to them and others back home.'

'However, as most people know, success and sacrifice go hand in hand. As grateful as I am for my career and everything that has come with it, having it consume most of my life has meant that other areas have had to take a back seat during that time.'

Ablett Jr's surviving sister Alisha posted a heartfelt tribute to her Instagram page with an old family photo of the four children.

'Worlds best gift growing up with these scallywags! Natasha - you were the strongest woman I've ever known with an absolute heart of gold! 1982-2017'.

Ablett Jr and his wife Jordan also recently mourned the loss of her mum Trudy (pictured with grandson Levi)

Ablett Jr (pictured with son Levi) retired this year after playing his 357th AFL match for the Geelong Cats in the 2020 Grand Final, going down to the Richmond Tigers at The Gabba 

A coroner found earlier this year that Natasha was a frequent mental health facility escapee who fled 36 times throughout her troubled life.

'I note that despite the significant challenges posed by Natasha's mental ill health which was exacerbated by her propensity to self-medicate with illicit drugs, her family never stopped loving or supporting her,' Coroner John Olle said. 

Ablett paid the ultimate tribute to Gary Jr in his son's soon-to-be released autobiography, hailing him as the greatest midfielder to play the game. 

'I don't think there's ever been a better onballer in AFL history, or a player who performed at such a high level for as long as he did,' he wrote in an extract obtained by NewsCorp.

'Back in my playing days I don't think I would've had the patience he has demonstrated.

'I've respected the way he's remained so focused on the ball and always considered him a very self-disciplined player.'

If you or someone you know is experiencing personal problems, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.