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One of Australia's most successful female gymnasts reveals the pitfalls of competing as an athlete on the world stage - after Simone Biles took herself out of the Tokyo Olympics to focus on her mental health

Megan Bolton has accumulated an array of accolades in 36 years; she has represented Australia at four gymnastic acrobatics world championships, performed with the Wiggles, taught at high profile schools, and now opened her own. 

But while her identity as an athlete is her greatest strength, it has also come at a cost.   

Growing up inside the competitive world of gymnastics there was no room for failure - and a silent expectation to maintain a slim build. 

Behind bright smiles, smooth flips and graceful routines, she developed a crippling eating disorder that would hold her hostage for 21 years - eventually landing her in hospital.

'It became a part of life,' Ms Bolton told Daily Mail Australia. 

Decorated gymnast Megan Bolton (pictured) has represented Australia at four world championships, and was ranked no. 1 in the nation from 1997 until 2006

Decorated gymnast Megan Bolton has represented Australia at four world championships, and was ranked no. 1 in the nation from 1997 until 2006

'I would restrict, then if I did eat I would purge. Bulimia became my way of keeping it a secret.

'I was able to hide it for so long, but by the time I was 15 it was in full swing.'

For nearly a decade between 1997 until 2006, Ms Bolton was ranked number one in Australia for her sport.

By 12, the star athlete was training six days a week for three hours at a time as she prepared for her first world championships in Hawaii, in 1997. 

Although she had been a gymnast from the age of four competing at an elite level sparked an unprecedented level of pressure from both teammates and coaches.  

The culture suddenly shifted to a focus on body size, and unhealthy dynamics spawned among teammates as they vied for their teachers' praise. 

Gymnasts were expected to push their bodies past pain to perform extreme tricks and were bullied by peers and scolded by coaches if they got moves wrong.   

'There was a culture of weighing. Everyone knew each other's weight,' Ms Bolton said. 

'I often dreaded going to classes. I became superstitious. If I wore a leotard and had a successful session, I would wear it again. There were lucky foods. There were rituals I would perform to try and gain control. 

'My main fear was getting into trouble, if you were told do it, you didn't have a choice. Pain was not a reason to stop, whether it be mental or physical. If you could continue, then you continued.'

Ms Bolton said she was often subjected to the 'silent treatment' and blamed if her group failed to pull off a stunt. While the bullying behaviours mainly stemmed from her teammates, she said coaches did little to stop it. 

Ms Bolton pictured age nine holding her gymnast of the year trophy at an end of year concert

Ms Bolton pictured age nine holding her gymnast of the year trophy at an end of year concert 

Ms Bolton started gymnastics from age four and quickly selected to be part of an elite stream

Ms Bolton started gymnastics from age four and quickly selected to be part of an elite stream

Ms Bolton at her second gymnastics acrobatics world championships in 1999

For those, like Ms Bolton, who are 'tops' - gymnasts positioned atop of pyramids or who get thrown in the air - the pressure to stay slim was even higher.   

Just months into starting high school she started restricting and throwing up meals as a 'coping mechanism' to suppress the stress of intensive training.  

'After training I would be fighting my emotions, so night time would be my worst,' she said. 

'You spend the session performing skill after skill, your partner is through the roof angry with you, you know you are in trouble, and you are being shamed or given the silent treatment.

'You have a build up of emotions - you know you have to keep going and not make any mistakes. You're in a constant state of anxiety.'   

Over the next three years, Ms Bolton competed in the 1999 Junior World Championships in Belgium and Senior World Championships in 2000, in Poland.

During that time, she suffered serious concussions, ankle sprains, and broken bones - including an arm fracture that required four surgeries - but was ordered to push through. Within weeks of breaking her arm, she was back in the gym in a sling. 

In 2000, the rigorous training paid off when at age 15 she scored her finest ranking, placing fifth in the world - but behind closed doors the stress was coming to a head. 

Her eating disorder reached its lowest point and - as her habits became more extreme - she could no longer hide the battle from her parents. 

By age 12, the pressure of competing and bullying led to Ms Bolton developing an eating disorder. She is pictured with an arm injury in 1997

By age 12, the pressure of competing and bullying led to Ms Bolton developing an eating disorder. She is pictured with an arm injury in 1997

Ms Bolton at age 15 during the lowest point in her battle with anorexia and bulimia. This picture was taken shortly before her mother pulled her out of the World Games in Japan

Ms Bolton at age 15 during the lowest point in her battle with anorexia and bulimia. This picture was taken shortly before her mother pulled her out of the World Games in Japan 

Ms Bolton and team mates embrace to celebrate their success at the 2006 gymnastics world championships

Ms Bolton performing a trick with a partner during a gymnastics competition

Ms Bolton performing a trick with a partner during a gymnastics competition

'I had interesting behaviours around meal time. I would always go to the bathroom, or make sure I had a shower, or I made sure I was hiding my behaviours and after a time it became suspicious. It became ritualistic,' Ms Bolton said.

'The process of hiding it was very difficult. You always have to have a reason to avoid meal times.

'My mother confronted me about it one time after I had been to the bathroom. I was really angry at her for finding me out.'

Concerned, Ms Bolton's mother pulled her out of the upcoming World Games in Japan and requested her coach replace her partner for the sake of her health.

She started receiving therapy, cut back on her training load, and after a brief hiatus, returned to the world championships in Portugal in 2006. 

But her competing career was cut short when she ruptured a ligament in her knee while performing a stunt during the tournament. 

Ms Bolton said it was incredible that US gymnast Simone Biles, who sensationally withdrew from the Tokyo Olympics, put her mental health first over the pressure within the sport.

'She is amazing. I am very inspired that she was able to take that step and was not dictated by the sport,' she said.

'To be Simone Biles and make that position, is hopefully setting a new standard of self care within elite sport.

While Ms Bolton's eating disorder would never hit such a low again, it would lay dormant for more than a decade, activating again during times of intense stress. 

Ms Bolton, who was a 'top' in gymnastics, said she experienced extreme pressure to stay slim

Ms Bolton, who was a 'top' in gymnastics, said she experienced extreme pressure to stay slim

Ms Bolton spent several years working as a performer alongside children's musical group The Wiggles

Ms Bolton spent several years working as a performer alongside children's musical group The Wiggles 

She has now opened training facility Infinite Edge Movement, which focuses on providing a supportive learning environment for students

Over the next eight years, she furthered her education, completing a certificate in fitness and a bachelor of Chiropractic science, taught gymnastics and dance at schools across Sydney, and performed with The Wiggles.  

By age 33, she started to set her sight on opening her own gymnastics school - but realised she was still struggling with an eating disorder she needed to recover from first. 

In 2018, she checked herself into rehab to deal with it 'once and for all'. 

'It has been so exhausting,' Ms Bolton said. 

'I had not known my life without an eating disorder. I would go through periods of time, where it did not affect me, to becoming a lot more obsessed with food.

'It allowed me to push for so long, but it was totally impractical. I could not stop. I was ready to leave it behind.' 

After conquering her health battle, Ms Bolton launched Infinite Edge Movement, an elite training facility that offers workshops, classes, programs and seminars in acrobatics and gymnastics for all ages and abilities. 

Based on her experiences, she is focused on cultivating a supportive learning environment for the next generation of budding athletes. 

'Growing there was a lot of criticism in class, but no advice on how to improve,' she said.   

'We don't punish our students for their mistakes in learning and understand that every student has their own rate of learning.

'The large bulk of the program is a non competitive design, and each skill is broken down into steps so they can do it at their own pace. I just want a school that is loving and nurturing and supportive for the students.' 

Although her lustrous career was tainted by bullying and bulimia, Ms Bolton said competitive gymnastics has made her who she is today.  

'When I retired, at first I was relieved.'

'But then I thought: "If I am not a gymnast, who am I?"

'Now I have realised, if something is your life, that is your identity.'  

Despite the impact the intensive training had on her life, Ms Bolton said she is grateful for what she has learnt

Despite the impact the intensive training had on her life, Ms Bolton said she is grateful for what she has learnt

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