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Is Paolo Di Canio up to the job - Des Kelly

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In all the debate about whether he is an outright fascist or a misunderstood eccentric, one significant question appears to have been lost in the pseudo-political fog. Is Paolo Di Canio any good at his job?

Everyone has been so busy wondering if he goosesteps up and down his hallway that they have ignored the more pragmatic concern that he could march Sunderland straight through the Premier League trapdoor.

Di Canio may indeed adore Benito Mussolini. He might even strike a quick, straight-arm salute when he catches sight of himself in the mirror. Who knows?

Getting shirty: Di Canio is unveiled at Sunderland earlier this week

The day job: The Italian oversees his first Sunderland training session

    More from Des Kelly...   DES KELLY: Well, nothing lasts forever... it's been a blast! Sportsmail's brilliant columnist bows out after almost a decade at the top 31/05/13   Des Kelly: When it came to the most important tick of his career clock, Sir Alex bowed out at the perfect moment 10/05/13   DES KELLY: The idea that governing bodies are serious about exposing drug cheats is a myth... the cover-up makes my blood boil 03/05/13   Des Kelly: Sorry Liverpool, this isn't a conspiracy by the PM, FA, MI5, British Dental Association, and Society Against Cannibalism in Sport 26/04/13   Des Kelly: An immense river of humanity will flow through London... the marathon must produce mighty roar of defiance 19/04/13   DES KELLY: Fans come a distant second to Cup cash 12/04/13   Des Kelly: The evidence is so subtle many missed it... is this bonfire a case of smoke and mirrors? 29/03/13   Des Kelly: British taxpayers have just handed West Ham a stadium worth half a billion pounds... where's my bit of this £630m council house? 22/03/13   VIEW FULL ARCHIVE  

But there are a couple of things about which I am certain. First, you probably have not come to the back pages of the newspaper for a lecture on fascism, although a number of newspaper sports departments seem to have morphed into The History Channel with commentary by Rick from The Young Ones of late.

Secondly - and brace yourself for an unpalatable truth here - I am pretty sure that beyond the noisy protests, very few Sunderland fans will give a flying picket about Di Canio’s allegiances if he somehow succeeds in keeping the struggling club in the top flight. The game really is that fickle.

Harry Redknapp pretty much nailed it when he half-sarcastically said: ‘Football fans don’t care. The players don’t care. Saddam  Hussein could own your football club, and if he’s putting millions into it, they’ll be quite happy. They’ll be singing: “There’s only one Saddam”.’

Football is full of horrible little dictators and political ogres. There are owners who are obscenely rich through asset stripping and dirty politicking. Other outfits are bankrolled by regimes that boast despicable records on human rights. But we cherry pick our villains.

It’s easy to demonise Di Canio’s politics. I should know. I’ve been doing it on occasion for 13 years, ever since he first expressed his love for his chubby idol Mussolini and developed an unfortunate habit of waving at the crowd in a somewhat stiff-armed manner during Lazio matches.

It was called a ‘Roman salute’ by the hardcore fans he was trying to endear himself to known as ‘Ultras’, although it would be idiocy to pretend the gesture doesn’t have darker connotations. Yet would I stop him working now because of a political view I disagree with? No. On that basis, Jeremy Clarkson might be out of work. (I’ll do the jokes.)

Let me remind you that the greatest thing about freedom of speech in this country is that it applies to everybody. Which brings me to the worst thing about freedom of speech in this country. It applies to everybody. That includes fascists, ex-convicts or Jeremy Kyle viewers (or often all three at once).

Like it or lump it, everybody gets to cough their germs over the all-you-can-eat free speech salad bar. Unless Di Canio bases his managerial decisions on proven and illegal discriminatory practices or displays discernible traits that he is any more of a dictator than your average Premier League boss, then I’d venture he can privately harbour the political beliefs he chooses.

'Roman salute': Di Canio hails the Lazio Ultras back in 2005

His appointed ‘hero’ Mussolini managed to get the trains to run on time, according to the cliche, so can Di Canio put the team with the worst current form in the Premier League back on the rails?

The answer is none of us have any idea whatsoever, especially up at Sunderland. Di Canio is an unknown quantity as a manager at the top level. Just because he looks like the bloke who presents Grand Designs on Channel 4, it doesn’t mean he has any kind of masterplan. We know more about his policy on immigration than team selection.

The Italian was not brought in because of his established track record of success but because he is unpredictable. Thus far, that point of difference has amounted to nothing more than an almighty public relations disaster. But we shall see now whether Di Canio offers anything more than histrionics, grief and unrest.

Grand Designs: Channel 4 presenter Kevin McCloud

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There’s an argument Sunderland cannot do vastly worse. They have gone eight games without a win and collected three points from the last 24. The side were so dispirited against Manchester United last weekend they mustered only a single shot on target.

That is a death spiral. If QPR and Reading weren’t already cut adrift, Sunderland would be bankers for the drop. As it is, they will probably fight for the last remaining relegation spot with Wigan and Aston Villa.

The run-in will be a test of everyone’s character, particularly Di Canio’s. Past exploits at Swindon suggest he will rant, rage, punch the Perspex surround of the dugout a lot and generally flap about on the touchline like a demented seagull. This is a man who was once sent from the touchline merely for being overly demonstrative and it’s fair to say he generally appears about as serene and in control as a crate of sweating gelignite.

He subbed his goalkeeper after 22 minutes, scrapped in the tunnel with another player, said his team were ‘stupid donkeys’ and told Swindon fans that, if they doubted him, they should support Oxford United (I’d like to see him tell Sunderland fans to head to Newcastle).

In his second full season, with the club fighting for promotion, a row over the sale of a player led to a fortnight of will-he-won’t-he-quit guessing games before Di Canio eventually walked out.

You can get away with that sort of thing at somewhere like Swindon, just as you can get away with being a loony, right-wing councillor in Swindon Town Hall. The dramas, the rows are mainly local news.

But should you find yourself suddenly elected to the Cabinet and then decide to roll into 10 Downing Street dressed as Il Duce, it is no longer considered merely peculiar, or eccentric. It is huge  news. It’s the same for Di Canio now. He has moved from the third tier of English football to the Premier League, where he is finding absolutely everything about his life is scrutinised like never before. Everyone knew what Di Canio stood for at Swindon, they just didn’t care as much.

Stepping up: Di Canio only has experience of League One and League Two

Will he come through this storm? In the long term, I doubt he has the temperament. But this season, he just might. For some reason, whenever I imagine the debate in the Sunderland boardroom this week, the Mel Brooks film The Producers keeps flashing before my eyes.

It’s the story of two Broadway theatre figures who try to stage a flop so they can abscond with the investors’ money. They do everything they can to fail. Their musical tastelessly promises to show ‘the Hitler you knew, the Hitler with a song in his heart’.

They hire a director who is so bad his plays ‘close on the first day of rehearsal’. But, against all logic, the show proves a huge hit. ‘How could this happen?’ says Max Bialystock, played by Zero Mostel. ‘I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?’

Although it defies logic, I have a sneaking feeling that Sunderland owner Ellis Short might be saying something similar in a few weeks.

And a few weeks is about as far as he’ll be able to plan from now on, too.

  Armstrong sunk

Drug cheat Lance Armstrong’s attempt to return to competitive sport in a Masters swimming race was blocked by the authorities. What a shame. I hear Armstrong only wanted to test the water.

Apparently, swimming’s world governing body were alarmed by revelations Armstrong wanted to use flippers, although the American denied this and threatened to sue everyone that dared to mention it.

Water cheek: Armstrong has been prevented from swimming in a Masters event

Other swimmers were also concerned the former cyclist might urinate in the pool - and cause all of them to test positive for banned substances.

A FINA spokesman might have said: ‘We have enough trouble with cheats of our own in swimming, without importing them from cycling.’

Armstrong is now said to be considering taking up Aussie rules or rugby league.

  And the winning horse is...

This page is not known as being the scourge of the bookmakers for nothing. Even if nothing is what I’m often left with.

Every year the column bravely announces the name of the Grand National winner in advance - a prophecy that has a 100 per cent success rate (if we agree to go back just one year).

Only 12 months ago, people were booking their summer holidays in the sure-fire knowledge they would cash in on my prediction that Neptune Collonges would come home in first place at Aintree. Which he promptly did, by the giant margin of an entire nostril hair.

Bookies are quaking in fear again since I have been able to sniff out this year’s winner above the stench of newly applied fake tan hanging over the fillies gathered in Aintree’s parade ring.

100 per cent record: Neptune Collonges won last year's Grand National

So here it is. The winner of this year’s Grand National is (drum roll and trumpet fanfare)…  COLBERT STATION.

Congratulations everybody, I’ll see you at the bar.

 

DISCLAIMER: This column accepts no liability for financial losses incurred or any associated hair loss resulting from this article. The writer has no idea what a typical APR is, other than it is probably typical. Investments may go down as well as up. Your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments. Side effects can include nausea, erectile dysfunction and John McCririck. Gamble responsibly.

  More... Di Canio is the man to lead Sunderland out of relegation trouble... he'll have them fired up for Chelsea clash, says Terry Des Kelly: The evidence is so subtle many missed it... is this bonfire a case of smoke and mirrors? Sunderland were wrong to sack me after I saved them from relegation...but I'll be back, O'Neill breaks silence over shock dismissal Something for the Weekend: There'll be plenty of ups and downs as things really heat up in promotion and relegation battles









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