JANET STREET-PORTER: Hand back our bus passes and TV licences?! You must be joking, Iain Duncan Smith
Iain Duncan Smith announces he would like to 'encourage' wealthy pensioners to hand back universal benefits such as free bus passes, television licences and winter fuel allowances, calling them an 'anomaly'.
This made me so cross I can barely type. Duncan Smith (who manages on an income of £1,600 a week after tax) lives in a mansion his wife inherited, sent his son to Eton and sits in a government packed with old Etonians (another joined last week making a grand total of 12 at the heart of power), who talk about comfortably-off pensioners as if they are a threat to the economy!
There are two kinds of wealth in modern Britain. Inherited wealth, inherited houses, inherited trust funds (ie the nest eggs of Cameron, IDS and co) and then there are the bank balances and shrinking pension pots which are the carefully stockpiled resources amassed by elderly citizens (ie me) who have paid tax their entire working lives.
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I grew up in half a terraced house in Fulham, with an outside toilet. My parents impressed upon me the mantra of hard work, saving, and not being a burden to anyone.
I haven't got an off-shore company, wealthy relatives who've left me stocks and shares or nice houses in the country. Everything I own I have worked for, paid tax on and I have no debt.
If I am due a bus pass and a winter fuel allowance, then I shall be taking them. If I want to increase my contribution to charity as a result, then that is my decision, I don't welcome a 'nudge' from a politician.
The Government is full of rich men and women who have been privately educated, who send their kids to religious schools to avoid the local dumping ground, who have lovely country houses and staff we pay for via their expenses.
They talk of mansion taxes but they cleverly minimise their own tax liabilities on their second homes. Most have never done a day's manual work in their lives.
Nick Clegg — who lives in a swanky house in Putney, whose wife earns a fortune, and who holidays in a family ski chalet that is worth millions — has been attacking pensioner's benefits since the beginning of the year.
He claims that Cameron 'will be punished' by voters if the PM sticks to his promise to protect universal benefits beyond the length of this parliament. Clegg must be bonkers, because to attack pensioners is to commit political suicide. We are the only group who can be relied on to vote, who turn out in all weathers. Never mind Cameron's weedy concept of 'the Big Society', it's pensioners who volunteer, who look after their grandchildren for nowt, who visit neighbours and friends who need help.
P ensioners are a huge asset to this country, not a bunch of spongers who need to be means-tested and denigrated. Clegg talks of 'millionaire' pensioners, but if your assets are tied up in your home, you're hardly in the same category as Sir Alan Sugar or Bruce Forsyth.
Most pensioners work part-time (if at all), live on fixed incomes, face rising heating and food costs. If they own a car, then the exhorbitant cost of petrol will be eating into their outgoings. I'd like to know exactly who these 'millionaire' pensioners are, because I think they are a figment of Mr Clegg's fertile imagination, an unashamed ploy to garner the youth vote.
Last week saw the unedifying spectable of Richard Benyon, Minister for Food, telling us to eat more leftovers and wrap up cheese to prevent it going mouldy, claiming households are chucking away food worth £50 a month.
That statement, which takes the gold medal for unadulterated rubbish, comes from Britain's richest MP, worth an estimated £105 million, and who takes part in a bizarre ritual each year handing out loaves to the poor in his parish.
Iain Duncan Smith's equally unfortunate remarks about pensioners couldn't have come at a worse time for the Tories, with the local elections later this week.
Invasion of the flaxen-haired muppets! Be very afraid
After reading John Wyndham's spooky The Midwich Cuckoos (filmed as Village Of The Damned) I had nightmares for weeks. Night after night, an unsmiling blonde person with staring eyes would follow me around, blocking my path.
Now I'm getting the same dreams, as our news media is full of strange flaxen-haired muppets. Are the Johnson family (above right) the modern reincarnation of Wyndam's alien beings (above left)? Their blondeness, and overwhelming sense of their own importance sets them apart from us lesser mortals. They seem determined to bend us to their will with their ferocious mental powers.
The children in the Village of The Damned... who remind Janet-Street Porter of the Johnson familyWhen I ran into Rachel Johnson at a party she announced loudly: 'You don't like me, do you?' It was the first time I'd actually clapped eyes on her in the flesh. Pushy Rachel has talked up editing a minor magazine (The Lady) into a major journalistic achievement - at least I've edited a national newspaper.
This Miss Pushy wrote about waxing her pubic hair for Vogue, and has just penned a piece on modern manners, naturally featuring a very large picture of her favourite person - herself.
Boris is a genius at self-promotion, and now Jo, their younger brother, has been appointed David Cameron's policy chief. Time to be very scared.
Jo, Rachel and Boris Johnson Forget publicity stunts for charity, just cough up Ben Affleck
Living in Hollywood rather blinds you to the real world. When I spent a year working there, I was the fattest woman at any event by at least three dress sizes, and shopping for jeans I thought I had strayed into a children's clothes store as the garments were so tiny.
In this rarefied atmosphere, movie stars get over-exercised about big issues — and expect us to take them seriously. Of course they want to end world poverty, poor darlings, but do they have to tell us all about it via Twitter?
Ben Affleck is going to spend five days this week living on just £1 day, participating in the Live Below The Line challenge, to raise awareness of world poverty. Frankly, it's hard to imagine many people are UNAWARE of world poverty, as we live in a world of mass communication.
Wouldn't it be better for millionaires like Mr Affleck to stick to their normal diets of organic tofu and expensive mineral water and just donate a larger part of their obscenely high salaries to help the poor?
Mensch's trivial pursuits Louise MenschFormer Tory MP Louise Mensch has finally told us she had a facelift for ‘maintenance’ — she says she’s not discussed it before because she felt it would trivialise female politicians.
This is the same Louise Mensch who posed in a tight black leather skirt and revealing white blouse for a men’s magazine. The same MP who dumped her constituents mid-parliamentary term, claiming she needed to be with her rock manager husband in New York.
The House of Commons is full of married women (Yvette Cooper for starters) who combine bringing up kids with the demands of a high-achieving husband and unsociable parliamentary hours.
Why the sudden revelations? Louise Mensch has started a website Unfashionista, which is full of advertising and pictures of — Louise Mensch. On it, she promotes self-help books, exercise routines, and talks about her facelift, posting ictures of herself in skintight shorts at the trendy Coachella music festival in California.
There is an intelligent debate to be had about cosmetic surgery — a review set up after the PIP breast-implants scandal has found that the use of Botox and fillers is completely unregulated, and women could be placing themselves in serious danger unless standards are imposed.
The study recommended there should be a register of procedures, and an insurance scheme to protect customers.
If Louise Mensch had remained an MP, this is the kind of legislation she should have been pioneering, to help other women. Cosmetic surgery has been normalised — hairdressers and unqualified practitioners offer a wide range of treatments.
Louise Mensch can describe her facelift as if she’s a car going in for an MoT, but what if she’d ended up with a droopy eyelid or crooked lips?
Last week I had dinner with Nigel Farage, who berated me for not agreeing to appear on Question Time with him last Thursday. I had another engagement - but what is it about Nige and me that appeals to QT' producers?
We've appeared together at least three times - perhaps the programme makers think we stand for two polar opposites.
Nigel is an excellent speaker, even if he dresses rather like a Fifties' estate agent. I gave him a lift to the station and was rewarded with a damp kiss on each cheek.
