Skip to main content

Janet Street-Porter: 'Experts say I'm common but I'm just not bovvered! It doesn't hold back David Beckham or Adele'

/li> 4 shares 38

comments

You might not like the way I speak — but over 40 years, my accent has gone from mocked to mimicked.

Listen to Alan Sugar, David Beckham or Adele and it’s obvious that sounding downmarket no longer holds you back in life — but in the rarefied world of academia, this is seen as a cause for concern.

The author of the Cambridge Grammar Of English singles me out as someone with a ‘pure demotic accent and grammar’ — initially, I thought he meant demonic (which would have been accurate as I get annoyed about so many things) but sadly, he meant colloquial, or — let’s be honest — common. 

Listen to David Beckham or Adele and it's obvious that sounding downmarket no longer holds you back in life

Am I bovvered? Hardly — my grammar, when written, is pretty damn good. Nevertheless, the boffins at Cambridge University reckon we’re becoming ‘too casual’ in our speech.

Over 20 years, they’ve assembled a database of two billion words (The Cambridge Corpus) and thousands of hours of recordings, concluding standards are slipping — for example, they’ve discovered modern children are five times more likely to sprinkle the word ‘like’ in every sentence than their grandparents.

Other changes include the frequent use of the word ‘love’, which we apply to everything from art to bin liners. I dread to think what they say about my favourite putdown: whatever!

Compared with our grandparents’ generation, it’s far harder to tell what we do for a living and where we went to school when we open our mouths, but does it matter?

      More from Janet Street Porter...   JANET STREET-PORTER: I despise the nanny state - but it's the only cure for Fat Slob UK 02/06/13   Wrinklies, rise up! Attacked for stealing the young's jobs and patronised by politicians. We oldies, says JANET STREET-PORTER, unveiling her Grey Power Manifesto, need to fight back... 31/05/13   JANET STREET-PORTER: Watch out... soon GPs will ban patients altogether! 27/05/13   'Yes, I'm a Nimby. And proud of it!': JANET STREET-PORTER cheers on the Not In My Backyard brigade and snubs wind farms 13/05/13   Janet Street-Poter: We'll all have to cough up for Dave's betrayal on booze 'n' fags 05/05/13   How many of us ever thank those who shaped our lives? In these witty yet surprisingly tender letters, JANET STREET PORTER says: Thank you for making me the nation's favourite big mouth 03/05/13   JANET STREET-PORTER: Hand back our bus passes and TV licences?! You must be joking, Iain Duncan Smith 28/04/13   As Sharon Osbourne leaves Ozzy behind, Janet Street-Porter says there are four words a wife should never trust: 'I promise I'll change' 21/04/13   VIEW FULL ARCHIVE

Surely it’s a good indication that class differences are becoming blurred, that we live in a more democratic society.

When I started broadcasting 40 years ago, my Estuary accent was derided by critics — you’d have thought it marked the end of civilisation. Now, regional accents dominate the airwaves.

Listen to Prince Harry, his brother William and George Osborne — public schoolboys going out of their way to sound like plebs. Even Prince Charles sounds far chattier than his mum in interviews.

The truth is, sounding posh has never been more out of fashion, no matter what art critic Brian Sewell says. His accent — which sounds as if he has a wooden spoon wedged up part of his anatomy — seems fake to me.

Does he want to make listeners feel inferior, to bow down to his superior education? He’s a dying breed when it comes to speaking posh. Increasingly, politicians and public figures play down their blood-lines and affect street-speak, anxious to appear in touch with the public.

Ann Widdecombe, on the other hand, couldn’t care less — her delivery and enunciation come from another era, in the order of a leader issuing dictates from on high.

David Beckham was accused of softening his Essex accent in order to appear more statesmanlike as his playing career comes to an end and he spends more time with businessmen and world leaders. If you heard his speech announcing he’s quitting footie last week, it’s just not true. 

As for concerns that texting and Twitter are dealing the English language a body blow, I disagree.

Language is constantly evolving, a reflection of our age. We continually adapt the way we communicate to fit the medium and the technology — from emails to letter-writing.

If Chaucer were alive today, he’d be on Twitter, and his Canterbury Tales would be constantly updated online.

Listening to the dramatisation of Samuel Pepys diaries on Radio 4, I came to the same conclusion. I’m proud to be successful and sound common — it’s hardly an indicator of my intelligence, but a cause for celebration.

 

Enjoy Eurovision by recording it, then playing the show back at 12 times normal speed, pausing for the best outfits.

In future, please end the charade of pretending there’s a ‘best’ song among this tuneless twaddle, and make a separate award for fashion.

This year, Romania’s Cezar was my outright winner, appearing in a black sequined dress that made him look at least 15ft.

Allied to his superb countertenor vocals, with the range of Freddie Mercury — plus an erotic bevy of semi-naked dancers who emerged from under a red parachute — and you were watching a catwalk show Karl Lagerfeld is bound to emulate in Paris this summer.

Fashion runner-up was Moldova’s Aliona Moon, whose outfit resembled a national monument. Her rigid dress (with shoulder fin) looked like an enormous plinth, topped off with a bizarre hairdo resembling a wave of concrete. Very post-modern.

Bonnie Tyler, on the other hand, looked like the manageress from my local Wetherspoon’s.

 

A survey reckons that only 5 per cent of television presenters are women over 50 — a finding that has caused much outrage among the sisterhood. Best reaction came from Professor Judith Baxter, of Aston University, who has written an interesting book about the way women communicate in the boardroom.

She says we do too much apologising and placating and not enough straight speaking. According to Judith, there are four types of women on the box — Battle Axe  (I hope I am not in this category, but Maggie Thatcher is an obvious example), Seductress (Carol Vorderman or Nadine Dorries) and Schoolmarm (Harriet Harman or Theresa May).

Margaret Thatcher counts as a Battleaxe whilst I'd add Tess Daly as a 'pet' and I agree with Judith, we need more 'real' women on television -let's not get over-obsessed with age

But she finds the most insidious are the institutional Pets — ‘young, gracious, elegant and charming but wholly unthreatening’.

She cites Sophie Raworth and Fiona Bruce as Pets. I’d add Holly Willoughby and Tess Daly. I agree with Judith, we need more ‘real’ women on television — let’s not get over-obsessed with age.

  Will UKIP ban ladies in trousers?

Nigel Farage says his party refuses to accept candidates who appear ‘very, very odd’ but doesn’t have any problem accepting a large donation (around £10,000) from a controversial businessman whose blog states that single mums are ‘naughty girls’ who deserve a ‘good smack’.

Demetri Marchessini has also written a book entitled Women In Trousers: A Rear View, in which he says they are ‘an abomination’ and any woman wearing them ‘flies against the normal human desire to please’.

In his blog (marchessini.co.uk) the businessman and bridge player writes: ‘The best cure for homosexuality is a very attractive woman.’

His other books include Modern Myths & The Realities Behind Them — perhaps a modern myth he might like to dispel is that Nigel Farage bans clowns from joining UKIP.

  Ken’s the man of my dreams

Barbie's Dreamhouse opened last week in Berlin and will tour other European cities from the end of August

Disney world has a new pink competitor — Barbie’s Dreamhouse opened last week in Berlin and will tour other European cities from the end of August.

The 26,900 sq ft house includes a Barbie cupcake kitchen, a walk-in wardrobe and a pink catwalk for small visitors to model Barbie clothes.

Admission is £10 with an extra charge to participate in the fashion show.

At the opening, protesters complained that the theme park promoted gender stereotyping in toys and ‘pink now stands for seduction, cuteness, large eyes … and everything to do with external appearance’.

Another said: ‘If Barbie were real, (she) would be anorexic and (her) life would be waiting for Ken in the car.’

I’ve never found Barbie the slightest bit appealing — whereas I have my very own Ken, stripped down to his underpants sitting on the shelf by my computer. If only real men were that lithe and pliant!





Popular posts from this blog

Study Abroad USA, College of Charleston, Popular Courses, Alumni

Thinking for Study Abroad USA. School of Charleston, the wonderful grounds is situated in the actual middle of a verifiable city - Charleston. Get snatched up by the wonderful and customary engineering, beautiful pathways, or look at the advanced steel and glass building which houses the School of Business. The grounds additionally gives students simple admittance to a few major tech organizations like Amazon's CreateSpace, Google, TwitPic, and so on. The school offers students nearby as well as off-grounds convenience going from completely outfitted home lobbies to memorable homes. It is prepared to offer different types of assistance and facilities like clubs, associations, sporting exercises, support administrations, etc. To put it plainly, the school grounds is rising with energy and there will never be a dull second for students at the College of Charleston. Concentrate on Abroad USA is improving and remunerating for your future. The energetic grounds likewise houses various

Best MBA Online Colleges in the USA

“Opportunities never open, instead we create them for us”. Beginning with this amazing saying, let’s unbox today’s knowledge. Love Business and marketing? Want to make a high-paid career in business administration? Well, if yes, then mate, we have got you something amazing to do!   We all imagine an effortless future with a cozy house and a laptop. Well, well! You can make this happen. Today, with this guide, we will be exploring some of the top-notch online MBA universities and institutes in the USA. Let’s get started! Why learn Online MBA from the USA? Access to More Options This online era has given a second chance to children who want to reflect on their careers while managing their hectic schedules. In this, the internet has played a very crucial in rejuvenating schools, institutes, and colleges to give the best education to students across the globe. Graduating with Less Debt Regular classes from high reputed institutes often charge heavy tuition fees. However onl

Sickening moment maskless 'Karen' COUGHS in the face of grocery store customer, then claims she doesn't have to wear a mask because she 'isn't sick'

A woman was captured on camera following a customer through a supermarket as she coughs on her after claiming she does not need a mask because she is not sick.  Video of the incident, which has garnered hundreds of thousands of views on Twitter alone, allegedly took place in a Su per Saver in Lincoln, Nebraska according to Twitter user @davenewworld_2. In it, an unidentified woman was captured dramatically coughing as she smiles saying 'Excuse me! I'm coming through' in the direction of the customer recording her. Scroll down for video An unidentified woman was captured dramatically coughing as she smiles saying 'Excuse me! I'm coming through' in the direction of a woman recording her A woman was captured on camera following a customer as she coughs on her in a supermarket without a mask on claiming she does not need one because she is not sick @chaiteabugz #karen #covid #karens #karensgonewild #karensalert #masks we were just wearing a mask at the store. ¿ o