Here's a thing - Darren Bent.
I asked Aston Villa last week what was happening with the above-mentioned. You've read manager Paul Lambert's comments in the past few days on this site.
He was quizzed 22 times in a press conference following the victory over Reading as to what was going on.
Chief executive Paul Faulkner, when asked, didn't know what was happening either. Which leaves us media-types once more trying to join the dots.
Mystery: Paul Lambert has insisted in recent weeks that he has no problem with Darren Bent, yet continues to leave the club's £24m record signing on the benchFirst, an admission. Villa are upset with a story I've written this week - because they say haven't taken a decision yet on whether to sell the player.
I say they'd accept £18m. Where do I get this figure? The normal sources that hacks use, players, agents, scouts, managers at other clubs...the list goes on.
More from Neil Moxley... Lambert's Villa teaching only just survived the first term, but when did things get so bad at this once great club? 15/05/13 Suarez be warned, a Birmingham striker almost lost his arm after being bitten during a match 25/04/13 With all the turmoil in England's heartland, it's no surprise West Brom continue to fly under the radar 05/04/13 The Midlander: Morgan's meeting will have appeased the Wolves fans, but I can't see a way they avoid relegation from the Championship 28/02/13 The Midlander: Allow me to re-introduce my mate Davies... he's mad as a box of frogs, but he'll do a good job at Nottingham Forest 07/02/13 Venky's II: With McLeish gone, Forest's farcical owners are rivalling Rovers for managerial madness... here's the inside story on what's gone wrong 05/02/13 Coventry to roll back the years by wearing 1987 FA Cup final kit in third round tie at Spurs 03/01/13 All I want for Christmas is...? The Midlander goes down the chimneys of eight clubs to spread some Christmas cheer 13/12/12 VIEW FULL ARCHIVEHowever, I was wrong to say owner Randy Lerner and the chief executive had agreed to sanction a deal. It's hold your hands up time.
Ouch. That hurt.
And now that we have aired Villa's thoughts on the matter, here are some of mine after six weeks of trying to cut through various non-committal mumblings, on-the-hoof excuses and blatant obfuscations.
Because I think I've found an answer...
The established facts are that Darren Bent was lauded by the manager when Lambert arrived at Villa Park.
The new boss thought that he would make Bent a figurehead, someone for the kids to look up to, someone who could lead Villa into this glorious new age.
After all, it worked for him at Norwich City with Grant Holt.
Here comes the 'informed' bit.
But what if Bent wasn't that type of person? What if he wasn't 'a natural leader.'
What if Lambert's decision to make him captain did not elicit the required response? What if it met with a different response? One that the manager didn't like...
Villa's boss then might think he had made a mistake, decide that Bent wasn't the right person to lead the kids.
Money driven? Earlier in the week Lambert denied he was leaving Bent out because of an add-on fee that will cost the Villains a substantial feeThe trouble is, it's hellishly-difficult to re-trace your steps with a £24m record signing.
Yes, players are that powerful. Taken into consideration the money they have spent, Villa have £40m invested in Bent in terms of his transfer fee and contract.
No wonder Premier League managers would turn on referees rather than their own players.
(That barb isn't aimed solely at Paul Lambert, by the way)
So, here is the 'tricky' bit.
Lambert cannot hint at what has taken place for fear of damaging a very expensive asset.
That's why he has been relatively unforthcoming when asked about the situation.
And it's causing all manner of problems. That £18-24m price tag is now weighing heavy around the club's neck.
For, if they do sell, what if Villa cashed in to a rival near the foot of the Premier League?
And what if Villa were then relegated with Bent scoring a bucketful of goals for someone else?
That would be very painful. Almost as painful as my above admission.
Favoured: Christian Benteke (left) and Gabriel Agbonlahor have been preferred to Darren Bent. Bent has not appeared in a game since coming on as an 83rd minute substitute in the Capital One Cup win away to Swindon on October 30The alternative is that Lambert keeps picking Aston Villa teams without the club record signing and we all hope for the best.
CONSPICUOUS IN ABSENCE Darren Bent's goalscoring Record 2008-Present:2008/09 - 43 games, 17 goals (England: 1 game, 0 goals)
09/10 - 40 games, 25 goals (Eng: 2 games, 0 goals)
10/11 - 39 games, 20 goals (Eng: 4 games, 3 goals)
11/12 - 25 games, 10 goals (Eng: 3 games, 1 goal)
12/13 - 11 games, 3 goals (Eng: 0 games, 0 goals)
Bent, meanwhile, keeps pocketing his £60,000-a-week wage for turning up to training.
Lucky him.
That's probably why he will still be here in February.
Villa can't get the money they want. They can't afford to let him go, either, unless someone comes up with a decent eight-figure sum who is not in desperate need near the foot of the Premier League table.
And the way it stands at the moment, Bent's not going to play. Not unless Christian Benteke and Gabby Agbonlahor suffer untimely accidents.
Thorny issue all right. So, what's the solution?
Lambert caves in and pleads with Bent to come back amid indifferent results? (No chance)
Bent decides puts in a supreme effort on the training pitch to help out the club? (Difficult to see that one, too.)
You see, I think it's a right old pickle. And one I'm having difficulty seeing an end to.
Or have I made another mistake?
More... Give us the credit we deserve, demands Lambert as he insists young Villa team are playing welll It's not about the money! Villa deny Bent exclusion carries financial weight Revealed: The full transcript of how Paul Lambert explains his treatment of Villa's £24million misfit striker Darren Bent