En route to his ‘pizzagate’ night out with the Prime Minister at the Davos summit, Boris Johnson flirted with elegant French IMF boss Christine Lagarde over the PM’s vow to hold a referendum on Europe.
‘Bien joué David Cameron, n’est-ce pas, ma cherie Christine?’ said the libidinous London Mayor (meaning ‘Well played Dave, eh Christine, my dear?’).
‘Ah, vive Grande Bretagne, vive Europe et vive Boris,’ purred Lagarde.
A French envoy behind muttered: ‘Ils sont complètement barjots.’ Translation: Dave and Boris are crazy.
Boris Johnson, right, took a shine to IMF boss Christine Lagarde, left***********************************************************************************************
Dog can scarcely believe a story about culture vulture BBC chairman Chris Patten told by BBC presenter, and star of The Great Comic Relief Bake Off, Martha Kearney.
She says that when Patten was told about the ‘WATO studio’ – Beeb slang for Martha’s World At One radio show – he replied: ‘Oh, I didn’t know we had a Watteau.’
Antoine Watteau was an 18th Century French painter noted for his ‘bucolic and idyllic charm, suffused with an air of theatricality’. Sounds just like old saucer eyes Patten himself.
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No room for Smith on Commons wallIt is the final humiliation for Cyril Smith, the 29-stone Liberal Democrat who has been subject to posthumous allegations that he sexually abused young boys. Custodians of the Commons art collection have removed John Bratby’s picture of Smith, above, which hung in Westminster’s Portcullis House. The space will remain pointedly bare until the investigation is complete.
Final insult: Smith's picture has been removed***********************************************************************************************
In a naked waste of taxpayers’ time and money, Tory grandee Bernard Jenkin will launch a mole hunt at Tuesday’s meeting of his Public Administration Committee into who leaked to this newspaper its damning report on Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood’s inquiry about the Andrew Mitchell ‘Plebgate’ affair. Dog is confident none of its spies will sing like a canary and reveal the bare facts.**********************************************************************************************
A shady business, GusFormer Cabinet Secretary Gus O’Donnell is a lively old goat – as he showed in his stint as John Major’s press secretary, when he enjoyed viewing the charms of a topless dancer during a visit to an East European nightclub. Appearing on a panel to mark this month’s revival of the BBC’s Yes, Prime Minister, he took a glance at the other members – Michael Heseltine, Alan Johnson and Simon Hughes – and said: ‘Look at you lot – 50 Shades Of Grey.’ Perfect bedtime reading for him.
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Labour MPs looking forward to meeting the Queen at a Buckingham Palace reception in March have been puzzling over the meaning of a stern warning from Deputy Chief Whip Alan Campbell accompanying the invitation. In bold letters, it reads: ‘Invitations will include a spouse or partner who has to be resident at your address.’ Muttered one Labour wag: ‘After much debate, we’re interpreting it as the “No mistresses, bring the wife” rule, so I’m going on my own then!’
