Forget this series, what on earth is going on with Australia?
They have always seemed a rooting-tooting type of people to me but now we hear that four of their players have lost their intellectual properties and that their skinfolds are excessive!
That used to mean they had gone mad and were a bit fat!
Oops: Suspended Australian cricket vice-captain Shane WatsonWe've got Pat Howard, a rugby man, in charge of Australian cricket and Kim Littlejohn, a crown green bowls specialist, as chairman of New Zealand's selectors.
The rumour here is that Eric Bristow is about to be recruited by the ECB to assist Andy Flower in his preparation for the Ashes!
So the Aussies have now got to compile 'wellness reports'.
Well, I can compile my own by saying I had an enjoyable afternoon on Wednesday with two bottles of rose wine, three dozen oysters, a rant at some fat Americans and a long snooze before trying to chat up a 20-year-old.
I'm feeling a bit jaded but willing to dig in!
Life goes on: Australia's James Pattinson appeals unsuccessfully for the wicket of India's Gautam GambhirOn a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, no breeze and with a great-looking pitch, both captains wanted to bowl first!
Cyril Washbrook, the great old man of cricket, would say to me when I became Lancashire captain: 'If you win the toss and want to bowl, think again.' But it just seems to be the modern way.
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