Skip to main content

A Royal reminder that every mum is absolutely crucial

0 shares 7

View comments

The reign of Queen Elizabeth has been the measure of so many of our lives

The Queen in hospital. When I saw the banner headline, I almost fainted and it honestly took me longer to recover from the shock than it did for Her Majesty to recover from the illness itself.

As we all know, Ma’am hates being ill and, luckily, people soon started intoning ‘strong as an ox’ again, and all indelicate talk on the Queenflu front ceased within 24 hours.

But her indisposition made me think all week about what, post-Jubilee, she means to us – to all of us, apart from perhaps the comic Frankie Boyle, whose line ‘I wish the Queen had died’ was scissored from a BBC Comic Relief show last week.

Her one-day hospitalisation was like – for me, anyway – an unplanned day trip into terra incognita, where the status quo of the past 60 years no longer applies. For her reign has been the measure of so many of our lives.

I’m quite antique myself, but the Queen had already been on the throne for 14 years when I was born. When I joined The Lady magazine, I was struck by the smart cream and eau-de-nil paintwork at the Covent Garden headquarters and asked my publisher when he’d had it done. ‘Very recently,’ he answered, stroking the glossy trim. ‘In time for the Coronation.’

Her royal cypher of initials, EIIR, surmounted by a crown, is this country’s tag: so ubiquitous, the eye barely notes it, whether one is admiring the fabulously-frogged gold monogram on the red velvet curtains of the Royal Opera House, a pillar box, or passing the discreet stone memorial to WPC Yvonne Fletcher in St James’s Square.

Her Majesty has been served by 12 Prime Ministers, as dramatised by the West End stage play, The Audience, starring Helen Mirren, that opened to rapture last week.

My husband is 60, and she’s been on the throne his entire life too. He says she is ‘the one truly constant presence’ in his life. She represents normality to people his age and younger, for she is all we know.

And this is why it was so troubling when the Queen was, even briefly, unwell. It was like a sudden rent in the space-time continuum, through which we had to peer reluctantly into the future – a future where we will not have  a queen but a king. And all we know of the future is that it is another country and they will do things differently there.

We had a spyhole into this future last week when we heard Prince Charles – long known for chatting to his plants – had now taken to ‘instructing’ them.

Her Majesty has not only been Queen for six decades. she has also been confidante to 12 Prime Ministers

A while ago, he freely admitted to a BBC crew: ‘I happily talk to the plants and trees, and listen to them. I think it’s absolutely crucial .  .  . it’s like almost with your children. Every tree has a meaning for me.’

We know that his mother,  like all good mothers, is more of a listener than a talker. James Callaghan used to say the weekly audiences were like ‘visits to a psychiatrist’.

So the Queen has not only been Queen for six decades,  she has also been confidante to 12 Prime Ministers who know they can share and even blub to her during their audience, as they would to mummy.

No private secretaries are present and no minutes are taken, nor do Freedom of Information laws apply.

According to a recent survey, the majority of ‘top bosses’  describe themselves as ‘mummy’s boys’, in the sense that, however important and macho, they will ‘run every life-decision past their mother’.

I felt this when I saw the pictures of Elena Frias, a tiny black crow in widow’s weeds, standing over the flag-draped coffin of the late Hugo Chavez, vibrating with mother-love. He may have been il Comandante, purveyor of chavismo to the whole of South America, but to her he was something far more important: her son.

But with the Queen, there’s much more to it.

As Vernon Bogdanor, the constitutional historian, points out: ‘She is not only head of state, she is also head of the nation .  .  . In this role, the Queen must represent all of her people, not just those who adhere to a particular political creed.’

She is the nation’s mother, then, and this is why it’s so alarming when she – our collective mummy – goes to hospital.

But still, no need to panic, as  I did. After all, your mother never stops being your mother, however ancient and decrepit you both are.

And on her 21st birthday, Her Majesty dedicated her whole life to being Queen. Just like being a mother, being Queen is not a job you do, it is a job you are. And of course, all mothers are Queens, too, if only for just one day (today).

So a very happy Mother’s  Day, to all mothers and Queens, everywhere. You are, as our future King would say, ‘absolutely crucial’.

Boy or girl, it will be a bundle of trouble! Speculation over the sex of the Royal baby almost reached fever pitch this week

It's most premature to assume that the Cambridges have discovered the sex of their unborn child, which is the fast way of spoiling one of Nature’s best surprises.

Not finding out helps get you through pregnancy (but not childbirth, when baby’s gender becomes irrelevant in the epic life-and-death struggle to get everyone through the process in one piece).

But not finding out is not the same as not knowing. I always ‘knew’. So might Kate.

And anyway, the sex of her child is none of our business. For that very reason, I have taken the trouble to consult a noted astrologer. So, without further ado, herewith my ‘Royal Baby Exclusive!’

‘It’s a feminine chart,’ says Victor Olliver. ‘The planets suggest a Royal revolution with this child, which may reflect the end of male primogeniture.

The forecast has a pattern called a Kite found in charts of high-flyers and high achievers, a mark of impact on the world. Very Diana-ish no matter the sex. Like granny, trouble.’

You heard it here first.

 

Huge kudos and praise to Comic Relief for raising so much money over the past 25 years.

It’s an incredible achievement. But my son now wants me to spend £30 on a plastic helmet and stabbing sword as his house has adopted a ‘Spartan theme’ for Red Nose Day.

Why should I? Would it not be more charitable to give the dosh straight to Comic Relief rather than to Amazon?

 

All the single ladies! Have you ever dreamt how nice it would be if the rugged, outdoorsy types you see at point-to-points and game fairs, in cords and tweeds of goose-s*** green, men who look as if they could deliver lamb triplets AND light the woodburner, could somehow be herded up for your expert inspection – like a cattle market, only with chaps?

Well, great news. I know where they are – watching the rugby!

Pull on your Hunter wellies, your Boden fleece and Barbour, and ‘scrummy down’ to Twickers, where England take on Italy in the Six Nations today.

Failing that, there’s always Cardiff on Saturday.



Popular posts from this blog

Study Abroad USA, College of Charleston, Popular Courses, Alumni

Thinking for Study Abroad USA. School of Charleston, the wonderful grounds is situated in the actual middle of a verifiable city - Charleston. Get snatched up by the wonderful and customary engineering, beautiful pathways, or look at the advanced steel and glass building which houses the School of Business. The grounds additionally gives students simple admittance to a few major tech organizations like Amazon's CreateSpace, Google, TwitPic, and so on. The school offers students nearby as well as off-grounds convenience going from completely outfitted home lobbies to memorable homes. It is prepared to offer different types of assistance and facilities like clubs, associations, sporting exercises, support administrations, etc. To put it plainly, the school grounds is rising with energy and there will never be a dull second for students at the College of Charleston. Concentrate on Abroad USA is improving and remunerating for your future. The energetic grounds likewise houses various

Best MBA Online Colleges in the USA

“Opportunities never open, instead we create them for us”. Beginning with this amazing saying, let’s unbox today’s knowledge. Love Business and marketing? Want to make a high-paid career in business administration? Well, if yes, then mate, we have got you something amazing to do!   We all imagine an effortless future with a cozy house and a laptop. Well, well! You can make this happen. Today, with this guide, we will be exploring some of the top-notch online MBA universities and institutes in the USA. Let’s get started! Why learn Online MBA from the USA? Access to More Options This online era has given a second chance to children who want to reflect on their careers while managing their hectic schedules. In this, the internet has played a very crucial in rejuvenating schools, institutes, and colleges to give the best education to students across the globe. Graduating with Less Debt Regular classes from high reputed institutes often charge heavy tuition fees. However onl

Sickening moment maskless 'Karen' COUGHS in the face of grocery store customer, then claims she doesn't have to wear a mask because she 'isn't sick'

A woman was captured on camera following a customer through a supermarket as she coughs on her after claiming she does not need a mask because she is not sick.  Video of the incident, which has garnered hundreds of thousands of views on Twitter alone, allegedly took place in a Su per Saver in Lincoln, Nebraska according to Twitter user @davenewworld_2. In it, an unidentified woman was captured dramatically coughing as she smiles saying 'Excuse me! I'm coming through' in the direction of the customer recording her. Scroll down for video An unidentified woman was captured dramatically coughing as she smiles saying 'Excuse me! I'm coming through' in the direction of a woman recording her A woman was captured on camera following a customer as she coughs on her in a supermarket without a mask on claiming she does not need one because she is not sick @chaiteabugz #karen #covid #karens #karensgonewild #karensalert #masks we were just wearing a mask at the store. ¿ o