Skip to main content

QUENTIN LETTS: Charles's medals, like the grille of a vintage Lagonda

They issue a match programme for the State Opening of Parliament, signed by ‘Norfolk’ (Duke of). It gives the Order of Procession, in the middle of which, in large, bold, Old English typeface, it mentions The Queen’s Most Excellent Majesty.  

Octogenarian ladies of leisure may contemplate May mornings tending their auriculas and letting the dogs frolic in the garden. This one has to rattle to Westminster in an ancient carriage, walk the best part of half a mile under a ton of bling, then deliver more than 800 words under bright lights in a hot Chamber. And she has done it for more than six decades.

What a remarkable monarch she is. ‘Most excellent’, indeed. But yesterday, if we are to be honest, HM also seemed a little slower on her pins, perhaps a touch stooped – the sheer, physical weight of the crown? – and croaky.

A remarkable monarch: But yesterday, if we are to be honest, HM also seemed a little slower on her pins, perhaps a touch stooped - the sheer, physical weight of the crown? - and croaky

HM stumbled at the section about immigration controls being increased. That may be simply because it was casually written, containing a modern-politics cliché about encouraging 'people who contribute'

Reading the speech, she stumbled at the section about immigration controls being increased. That may be simply because it was casually written, containing a modern-politics cliché about encouraging ‘people who contribute’. Contribute what? A few quid to the immigration inspectors’ Christmas fund?

But you also felt, for once, that the little pages of honour were doing important work, helping her with that long royal train.

  More... Storm over migrant crackdown: Labour claims tough new rules in the Queen's Speech will lead to more racism Immigration crackdown, boosts for business, help for pensioners and High Speed rail unveiled in Queen's Speech to 'fire up' Britain Two crowns, 3,000 gems, an 18ft robe and a recycled dress: Queen Elizabeth II looks regal alongside Prince Philip at her 60th State Opening of Parliament

One of the pageboys was called Hugo Bertie, which as names go is as good as one of those raincoats which can be worn inside out. Bertie Hugo. See?

The Duchess of Cornwall sparkled to the left of the Queen. A champagne-coloured fringe, gems or sequins spangling like gold in a bandit’s gums. She and Prince Charles had been given thronelets a level lower than those of the Queen and Prince Philip (who did his normal, magnificent, tooth-grinding grimace as the legislative programme was announced).

The Duchess of Cornwall sparkled to the left of the Queen. A champagne-coloured fringe, gems or sequins spangling like gold in a bandit's gums

The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Charles had been given thronelets a level lower than those of the Queen and Prince Philip (who did his normal tooth-grinding grimace as the legislative programme was announced)

Unless I am mistaken, Camilla was wearing a sash in the colours of Crystal Palace FC, while Prince Charles had so many fancy medals he could have been mistaken for the radiator grille of a vintage Lagonda. 

Was that some star of a foreign realm on the Heir Presumptive’s chest? Or was it a 1920s RAC member’s badge?

'Most excellent': The Queen traveled to Parliament to announce 20 Bills which her government plans to pass in the next year

To the other side of Prince Philip stood the ladies in waiting. No seats for these old trouts. Lady Susan Hussey remained indomitably impassive, spine as straight as a cricket bat, as the Queen read her way through the politicians’ spiel about ‘matching internet protocol addresses’ and ‘updating energy infrastructure’.

Admiral Lord Boyce, who once drove a nuclear submarine, held the heavy Sword of State. It takes practice to do that for 15 minutes without swaying. Field Marshal Lord Guthrie – convivial ‘Uncle Treacle’, most pre-prandial of killers – was Gold Stick in Waiting. Swizzle Stick in Waiting, surely.

Amid all this rococo grandeur, with the tabarded heralds dressed up like a theme party on Mykonos and Lord Hill balancing the Cap of Maintenance on a sawn-off billiard cue and Lord High Chancellor Chris Grayling handing the Queen her speech out of a gilt-embroidered postabag-cum-satchel, we also heard the Sovereign utter the word ‘cyberspace’. Next: Sir Peter Pears sings gangsta rap.

The new Archbishop of Canterbury sat top left near the Throne, oddly tiny. Lady Shackleton had been parked behind the ambassadors’ box. All blondeish hair and dagger eyes, she has in the past acted as a divorce lawyer in royal marriage bust-ups. If business ever dries up, Lady Shack’ could earn her corn understudying the actress Patricia Hodge.

On the north side of the Chamber the Lib Dems’ Lady Benjamin, who once presented TV’s Play School, crouched beneath a hairdo which had been piled as high as a Restoration wig. Amid various, tiara-clad wives of various life peers perched a plump little cuckoo in man’s morning coat and yellow rose. This, apparently, was the civil partner of former Labour party general secretary Lord Collins.

And look! There was Lord Truscott, funny little chap with a chin of goatee fuzz, who just four years ago was chucked out of the House for a while after a lobbying scandal. Parliamentary self-regard grows back faster than ivy.





Popular posts from this blog

Study Abroad USA, College of Charleston, Popular Courses, Alumni

Thinking for Study Abroad USA. School of Charleston, the wonderful grounds is situated in the actual middle of a verifiable city - Charleston. Get snatched up by the wonderful and customary engineering, beautiful pathways, or look at the advanced steel and glass building which houses the School of Business. The grounds additionally gives students simple admittance to a few major tech organizations like Amazon's CreateSpace, Google, TwitPic, and so on. The school offers students nearby as well as off-grounds convenience going from completely outfitted home lobbies to memorable homes. It is prepared to offer different types of assistance and facilities like clubs, associations, sporting exercises, support administrations, etc. To put it plainly, the school grounds is rising with energy and there will never be a dull second for students at the College of Charleston. Concentrate on Abroad USA is improving and remunerating for your future. The energetic grounds likewise houses various

Best MBA Online Colleges in the USA

“Opportunities never open, instead we create them for us”. Beginning with this amazing saying, let’s unbox today’s knowledge. Love Business and marketing? Want to make a high-paid career in business administration? Well, if yes, then mate, we have got you something amazing to do!   We all imagine an effortless future with a cozy house and a laptop. Well, well! You can make this happen. Today, with this guide, we will be exploring some of the top-notch online MBA universities and institutes in the USA. Let’s get started! Why learn Online MBA from the USA? Access to More Options This online era has given a second chance to children who want to reflect on their careers while managing their hectic schedules. In this, the internet has played a very crucial in rejuvenating schools, institutes, and colleges to give the best education to students across the globe. Graduating with Less Debt Regular classes from high reputed institutes often charge heavy tuition fees. However onl

Sickening moment maskless 'Karen' COUGHS in the face of grocery store customer, then claims she doesn't have to wear a mask because she 'isn't sick'

A woman was captured on camera following a customer through a supermarket as she coughs on her after claiming she does not need a mask because she is not sick.  Video of the incident, which has garnered hundreds of thousands of views on Twitter alone, allegedly took place in a Su per Saver in Lincoln, Nebraska according to Twitter user @davenewworld_2. In it, an unidentified woman was captured dramatically coughing as she smiles saying 'Excuse me! I'm coming through' in the direction of the customer recording her. Scroll down for video An unidentified woman was captured dramatically coughing as she smiles saying 'Excuse me! I'm coming through' in the direction of a woman recording her A woman was captured on camera following a customer as she coughs on her in a supermarket without a mask on claiming she does not need one because she is not sick @chaiteabugz #karen #covid #karens #karensgonewild #karensalert #masks we were just wearing a mask at the store. ¿ o