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Handcuffed guests, runaway pets — now that’s work experience!


Hilary Devey, from Dragon's Den, will present The Intern on Channel 4 Hilary Devey, from Dragon's Den, will present The Intern on Channel 4
Claridge's, the fly-on-the-luxury-suite-wall documentary filmed at the exclusive London hotel, had the nation enthralled last Christmas — and revealed two basic personality types among the viewing public.
Half of us wanted to stay there as pampered guests, the other half wanted to work there. The thought of being part of that faithful family of employees, dedicated to perfect service with a theatrical flourish, was seductive.
On The Intern, three unemployed youngsters were offered a similar dream: spending a week as trainee managers at the five-star Milestone hotel in Kensington, West London.
At the end of the show, one of them would be given a job — a well-worn format based on The Apprentice.
But there was a twist: the trainees were subjected to elaborate pranks.
Presenter Hilary Devey, the one from Dragons’ Den with the streaming black hair and aggressive shoulder pads of a glam rocker, claimed she wanted to see how the trio performed under pressure.
This was hidden camera telly in the tradition of Candid Camera and You’ve Been Framed! The set-ups were fun, though, and they did test the novices’ instincts for hotel work.
 
Jobless graduate Princess was never going to make a successful chambermaid. On her first morning, she stared in horror around a guest’s bedroom. ‘They didn’t make their bed!’ she gasped.
Her day got much worse when she discovered a semi-celebrity, Hugo of the reality series Made In Chelsea, handcuffed to a four-poster. The stunt had been designed to test her discretion.
Princess managed not to lie on the floor weeping with laughter, at least until she’d got out of the room. But then she blew her chances by  gossiping to everyone she met.
Taylor, a waiter at his mum’s cafe, was desperate for a job to call his own. He’d sent off more than 100 applications, and had no reply from any of them. So it seemed cruel to ask him, for his first assignment at the Milestone, to park a guest’s Aston Martin . . . and then see it towed away by traffic wardens.
Taylor looked terrified. He was a nice lad, but out of his depth.
Young mum Georgia impressed the most. She was given the task of walking a millionaire guest’s beloved dogs in Hyde Park — and lost one.
Instead of panicking, she enrolled the staff to hand out leaflets and roam the park, whistling and calling.
She wasn’t to know the dog had been trained to run off. With a flood of tears when it came back safely, Georgia earned herself the job.
Glamour model turned female bodybuilder Jodie Marsh spent much of her hour-long tour of U.S. schools, Bullied, holding back tears too. It’s clear that her own experience of bullying has left some deep psychological wounds.
 
Glamour model turned female bodybuilder Jodie Marsh spent much of her hour-long tour of U.S. schools, Bullied, holding back tears tooGlamour model turned female bodybuilder Jodie Marsh spent much of her hour-long tour of U.S. schools, Bullied, holding back tears too
She came up with thought-provoking evidence that even the worst, most deprived schools can fight back against bullies by encouraging all the children to stand up for each other and never to turn a blind eye.
But her enthusiasm for using the courts to sue schools and prosecute bullies was naive. In a culture as fixated on compensation as America’s, the only winners are the lawyers.
In EastEnders, Dot Cotton (now Dot Branning) stood up in a courtroom, quivering with fear and puzzlement, as she faced eviction from her council house for rent arrears and sub-letting rooms to tenants.
The cast of EastEnders mostly signal strong emotions by shouting. June Brown, the wonderful actress who has been playing Dot since 1985, did it with silence.
 
In the dock: Dot Branning battles to keep her house in Eastenders In the dock: Dot Branning battles to keep her house in Eastenders

For much of the show, she barely said anything, just one or two tart lines — ‘I ain’t lost me faculties, just me appetite’ and ‘I won’t lie. Lying’s wrong’.
But at the climax of the episode, she had a fabulous three-minute speech to the judge that would have wrung a standing ovation from any West End theatre audience. Voice cracking, she rambled through her evidence, eyes wandering as she seemed to follow her chain of thought around the room.
She declared, ‘I ain’t one of those that takes everything they can and goes to live in the Costa Del Spain,’ before quoting from the Bible, and finishing with a resounding: ‘I ain’t one to gossip.’
She won her case, of course. She deserves to win a damehood.

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